Meet Luna!

Meet the newest member of our family! Her name is Luna. She is a white miniature schnauzer and she is 10 weeks old, born on October 14, 2009. Just three days before daddy's birthday. After 20 years of each of us always having furry friend around, Jeff and I felt it was the right time to adopt a little one for our family. We spent days searching online together, trying to find the right puppy. We didn't agree on hardly any profiles before we saw this little girl. She is just perfect for us. We've always loved schnauzers. Thanks to my mom's dog, Heidi. And to Marcy and Jeremy's baby girl, Daphne. So thanks to you both for introducing us to a great breed! Luna is already doing very well with Jack. (Would have been a deal-breaker if she hadn't). And she's been very good about going outside to pee. I got Luna her own bed, it's in the corner in my room right beside my bed. But she was still a little scared last night I think, and ended up in my bed. Then Jack started getting fussy in his crib around 4am. So by morning I had both babies in my bed. I have to say, as a mommy I do like having all my chicks in my nest. But we are going to have to work on this dilemma because when Jeff gets back, they are sleeping in their own beds :)

Quick Update

Okay I've been a VERY busy woman lately, so here's whatcha get.

Kate:
-has been sick lately, but is feeling much better now. Went to the doctor and got some medicines for the dizzies that have continued since pregnancy. It seem to be working so far. An echocardiogram was run on Monday Dec. 21st and the results came back normal.
-is on winter break from college. Also I'm trying to decide what classes to take in Spring quarter. Any suggestions?
-is depressed because of her failing weight loss mission. All my fault. No one else's. I really need to buckle down.
-is exahausted. Six Christmas celebrations down. Two to go.

Jack:
-is smiling like you wouldn't believe. He is a very happy boy these days.
-laughed out loud for the first time on Christmas Eve. At grandpa Kevin!
-is officially spoiled rotten. The amount of toys this kid has is seriously ridiculous.

Jeff:
-is staying put at his FOB. As far as we know he is NOT moving anymore. So MAIL IS A GO! Send as much as you want and often.
-is absolutely loving all the boxes he has recieved. Thank you to everyone that has helped make this holiday season a little bit more bearable for him.
-has been told that he will have orders by February 5th at the latest. Everyone in the Brigade is supposed to have orders by then. This means that by this date, we will know if we are staying at Fort Lewis, Washington for the next 3 years or if we will be PCSing (moving) to a new post.
-is AMAZING. And his wife loves him very much :)



The end.

I'm right there with ya, little one

How I feel today:

A Little Readjustment

I'm sitting in Jack's room waiting for him to fall asleep right now because of two reasons. One: he has a cough. Two: he has become much too used to sleeping in mommy's bed. Yesterday it took me 2 hours to get him to sleep in his crib. We're only just now going on one hour tonight and he's pretty close to dream land. So this is a big improvement from last night. I am a little worried about his cough and I think if its not better in the morning I will call the pediatrician. Just to be safe.

Daddy is supposed to be calling sometime tonight but we have yet to hear from him so far. Oh well. I know he will call if he can.

Avery and erin are in the living room watching "madeline" through my free trial of netflix. I found the converter box I needed to hook my computer to the tv. So they are watching the movie right from the internet, but they are watching it on the television. Isn't that cool? I am turning in my cable box to time warner either tomorrow or Friday. I just don't watch cable that much at all. (Only for my weekly guilty pleasure of "Bad Girls Club" on the Oxygen channel, but I will survive). Netflix is great for me. And the offer full past seasons of tons of tv shows. And the best part, its MUCH cheaper this way than paying for cable.

Okay this wind is crazy! The rain was comforting, but this wind is insanity. One of my favorite quotes came from a book I got at Hallmark for my soldier. "You look up and find a dark cloud overhead. It makes you feel sad. But then something starts to fall from above. It's rainshine, and it came straight from the silver lining." So in this case I guess the rainshine, err windshine is that I'm pretty sure I won't have to year blush for the next couple days.. wind burn makes a fairly good rouge!

I just tucked Avery in and the house is quiet. Jack is finally resting peacefully and Avery is well on her way to sleep in my room. I'm cuddled up on the couch with a hot cup of tea getting the very last of my Christmas shopping done. Prayers go out to my mama today. She is not feeling very well. May God heal your aches and make you new again. Love to all and goodnight!

Insomnia

It's five in the morning and my sleep cycle is ALL messed up. Jack has been out since about 2300 and I'm still awake. Obviously the fact that my hubby wakes up for his day around midnight our time has something to do with it. I just can't bring myself to go to sleep when A) I'm not really tired and B) I could be talking to him instead of staring at the ceiling in the dark trying to fall asleep. I think my plan for tonight, er, this morning is to just stay up. I might as well. I'll hope that this will make me tired enough to fall asleep around 2100. I'm hoping to get Jack and I on a 2100-0500 sleep schedule because thats what daddy's is when he's working in the states. We will see how this works out.

The past couple days have been filled with reconnecting with friends I hadn't seen in a while. Mainly, Dustie. Dustie and I have been best friends for quite a long time. We kept in contact when we graduated high school but not as much as we should have and wanted to. It's so good to be around him again. I need trustworthy friends that would help me no matter what if I needed it, and friends that are good with Jack. He definitely fits that description. (And I think my mama is glad to see him again too).

Ashley is another friend that I have missed. Of course I was still seeing her every once in a while, but again like with Dustie, not as much as we wanted. Laura and John watched Jack on Saturday so Ashley and I could head to River Valley mall to get some Christmas shopping done. We had a blast and found tons of really good deals, and I can fully say (with the exception of Ashley and Erin) I'm done with Christmas shopping! Woo! Go me! Well I guess I still have to get Jack's walker but other than that, completely done! AND, everything is wrapped! I know, I'm on a Christmas roll. I'm expecting a recruiting call from the North Pole fairly soon actually.

It's deployment update time! Jeff is, as usual, doing very well. He has recieved most of the boxes that you all have sent out so far. And he would like to say thank you. He loves getting mail and boxes. As most of you are aware already Jeff got word that his platoon will be moving locations. This could be a good or bad thing communication wise. We are not sure yet of the amenities that this new FOB will/does have. Only time will tell I suppose.I have been spreading the word to stop all mail going to Jeff until further notice. Well new information says you are now allowed to send mail to his current address until Friday, December 11th. After the 11th, please hold off on sending anything else until further notice to insure that Jeff will recieve your letter/box. Please pass these instructions along. To end our deployment update I would like to let everyone know that this past week Jeff, along with another medic, was named "Hero of the Week" for his unit. He was recognized for his efforts in helping at the aid station a few locals showed up with severe injuries from an IED. Our soldier is doing his job very well over there and even his superiors are noticing. Congratualations Jeff! Here's a picture of Jeff working on a howitzer that he sent me a couple days ago.

Jack is just over a week away from being 3 months old! I cannot believe my eyes sometimes when I look at him and see how much he's grown. He is now wearing Pampers #2 diapers for infants 12-18 pounds. Just little things like that make me realize how much time is flying. I need to enjoy and document every little moment. The precious moments I experience with him now will be replaced by others soon and I don't ever want to forget them. He is getting very strong, holding his head up to investigate his surroundings constantly. He still is a fan of his swing but usually only when he's sleepy. He loves the new mobile mommy got him as an early Christmas present. It runs on batteries so mommy doesn't have to keep re-winding it. It plays classical music, nature sounds, or a heart beat and has the traditional mobile hanging animals as well as a projector that provides circulating images on the mobile's underneath.

In closing, I'm offering big thanks to everyone that has been in contact with my mama and is donating a blanket to Jeff's unit. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such loving and caring support group. My prayer request for today is for all those military spouses going through the Christmas traditions alone right now. As civilians, most of my readers would never think something as small as putting out your snowman cookie tin would upset you. But the truth is holidays hurt for us and there's no way around it. My prayer is just that God will help you all to find peace this holiday season and love with friends and family. Love to all!

Washington visits Ohio

I know everyone is hating this weather we've been having, but I have to say I feel right at home. Welcome to Washington my fellow Ohioans! This gloomy, gray, wetness we've been experiencing is pretty dead on. I actually miss it sometimes, so it's been quite refreshing for me. Yes, I know, I'm an odd one. I'll admit it.

With the big announcement of my weight loss journey yesterday, the daily journal I usually write was mostly overshadowed. Yesterday was a fairly normal day. Jack and I hung out here at home. He was awake most the day and played with his baby gym. I really need to invest in a different model of that gym. The one he has just has one bar that extends over him, and because there's only one, it often gets knocked over by my son's curious arms. I would like to get him one that has to bars that criss cross overtop him. They bars are connected, therefore they are harder to knock over. We will see, maybe for Christmas. We talked to daddy all morning over Yahoo Messenger and webcam. Jack was very intrigued with the keyboard but he looked right at the camera for daddy for a while too. And of course Jeff loves being able to see him. I asked him once if it made it worse when he sees him. He replied with "It makes it harder, but I love to see him anyways." So, every chance I get, Jack sits right on my lap and gets to see his daddy. We love you daddy!

At 2pm Jack and I headed out to Southeastern to pick up Avery from school. The first conversation I had with her in the car went like this:
Avery: "There's Caleb! And there's Caleb's mommy!"
Me: "Oh yeah? Do you like Caleb?"
Avery: "No! He spits on me at circle time!"
Me: "He spits on you?"
Avery: "Yeah, when he says tooth..PASTE!"

Oh my, too be young again. She and Jack are the light of my life. I can't imagine what she'll be teaching Jack in a couple years. And add Justin as an instructor too.. Oh man Jeff and I are in trouble.

We continued from Southeastern to my mom's house so I could get some laundry done. Mom and Max got home about an hour later and did a quick change before heading out to a Symphany concert. The symphany played songs from Star Wars from what I understand, so that was right up Max and Mama's alley. I have not talked to either of them yet today but I'm sure they had a blast. Rick got home and I decided to meet Erin for dinner at my favorite restaurant, Bob Evans! Yum, yum! We ate our dinner, Jack ate his, and the three of us stopped by Wal-Mart before heading home. The rest of the night was pretty boring really, I got some homework done, and put away dishes, did my yoga, and Jack and I headed to bed. 

Nothing really on the schedule for today except our normal Thursday dinner at John and Laura's. I would like to wish Ashley good luck at her meeting today, and say thank you for everyone's great responses to my new lifestyle change and new blog. I will not be importing my weight-loss blog to facebook. So if you want to read it, you'll have to visit the site. The link can be found at the top of the right column on this blog. Love to all! And enjoy a glimpse of Washington :)

My Big Announcement

I stated a couple days ago on my Facebook, that I had made a big life decision and to stay tuned to find out. Well, I think I've let my readers suffer long enough. This may not be as big of an announcement as you were hoping for or expecting, but its important to me. I have decided to commit to losing weight! I am committed to succeeding. I have never said these words before, for fear of failing. But I will not fail this time. I'm self-confident and excited and the time just feels right to start my journey to a healthier lifestyle.

What difference does this make to you, you ask? I believe fully in helping others as well as yourself. I tried for days to think of something I could do to help others along my journey. I kept running around the idea that other people are probably struggling just like I am. Struggling to actually commit and say out loud "I want to and will lose weight." The thought came to my head while I was having a pretty rough day. I was feeling very alone, and was in need of some motivation. My thoughts quickly turned to my online community of army wives at ArmyWivesForums.com and how I loved reading their stories because it made me feel like I was never alone. There was always someone going through a similar situation to mine out there, and just reading their stories made me feel much better. That night I started yet ANOTHER blog in addition to this one. Except, this new blog is devoted soley to my weight loss and the inspiration for other's weight loss struggles. I hope you all will continue following my life here, and find the time to read about my "deployment mission of my own" as I've come to call my newly started journey.

http://www.mydeploymentmission.blogspot.com/

Here's to a long, hard, and hopefully rewarding next six months and beyond. Love to all!

Long Day

We started our day at 8am today. I wasn't really feeling well this morning, but it passed as the day moved on. We got to talk to daddy online and enjoyed a morning and afternoon with uncle Max. Maxwell was a big help to have around today. You can tell how much he just loves Jack. He hates when Jack cries and always wishes he could fix him. He also fixed me lunch today! Woo, my little brother rocks!

Upon taking a walk to the North River Place Apartments office to get our mail I discovered an envelope waiting to make me smile! A letter from Afghanistan, my favorite return address! I love getting mail, especially from my husband. It just makes my whole day. We returned to Apt D9 and Max and I played some cards. I kicked his butt, of course!

Adam came to see Jack and I today and I am so glad! Oh, I've missed him so! He looked good and was 30 pounds lighter. Basic training will do that to you I guess. I'm happy to see that he is happy. I hope he can find some peace here now. And the best part of his visit.. he agreed to make me some lasagna one night! WOO! I can't wait.

My dad came to pick up Max and visited with Jack for a couple minutes. After that Jack and I headed to Sam's Club to meet my mama and Avery. They needed pretzel chips, of course. I just tagged along to see what I could find. I bought a cooking magazine that was highlighting the top 100 holiday cookies/treats of this year. I hope to try some of these out very soon. We went to dinner at Bob Evans following our shoppin and Hannah and Aunt Kathy showed up too. Our food took quite a long time to get to us, which we were not happy about. Shopping for an hour makes for hungry stomaches! But eventually we tasted long awaited nourishment and enjoyed every last bite. I made a quick trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things I had forgotten the night before. Now exhausted Jack and I headed home, finally.

Ashley called and asked if she could come see her boy tonight, and of course I told her yes. She came over to find a sleeping Jack in his swing and waited and waited and waited for him to wake up. You can bet at the first sign of fussing, she was there to comfort his every worry. Jeff got back online after just waking up across the world. We got to chat with him for a couple hours and Ashley fed and put to sleep my baby boy. I'm thrilled to say that he is a much happier little boy at feeding times thanks to his new soy formlua, Similac Isomil.

Now, Jack is sleeping in his crib like the big boy he is and I am soon heading to my bedroom to lay my head as well. Prayers go out to a woman named Kelly and her daughter tonight. She is a friend of my friend Kyra and is going through some rough times dealing with illness in her daughter. Remember your blessings everyone, life itself is the biggest blessing of all. Love to all and goodnight!

'Tis the Season

After a wonderful morning of chatting with my hubby, Jack and I headed out to do a little Christmas shopping. We have almost everyone taken care of now. Just a few more people and we're done! I'm so proud of myself for getting done early this year! Be on the lookout for cats and dogs falling from above or pigs with wings, because me being early never happens. Maybe I should notify the gazette or something?

Speaking of Christmas gifts, the popular question these days seems to be "What should we get Jack for Christmas?" Well, I finally have an answer. Jeff and I discussed it and what we really want for our son this Christmas is books. Jeff and I really enjoy reading and literary world and we want to pass that on to Jack. Help us start his very own book collection. He will be able to keep and cherish this books forever. So if you would please write the date, a short note to Jack, and sign your name in the front cover. We would really appreciate it, and Jack will later as well I'm sure.

After our shopping excursion we headed out to grandma Beth's to help set up and decorate the Christmas tree. Maxwell, Avery and I continued our tradition and put each of our "special" ornaments on the tree first. Mama took pictures like always, but this year she multitasked and loved on Jack as well. The tree looks fabulous if I do say so myself. And Jack loved it, most likely because it has lights. Even Titan joined in on the fun today. The normally outdoor-loving pup decided to spend most the day inside with us. I love that animal, and he loves me! He loves everyone!

We left grandma's full of holiday cheer, and brought along Maxwell to stay the night with us tonight. Stopping at walmart on the way home to get some groceries, I also picked up a new formula for Jack. Much thought and processing went into this decision, but ultimately we needed to at least try. We've been fighting fussy feeding times for about a week and a half now. He's not eating as much in a sitting, and is really cranky immediately upon digestion. My mom suggested that maybe his stomach is sensitive to dairy based formula, as mine was when I was a baby. Jack is now taking Similac Isomil. It offers the same benefits as his former formula, with the only difference being that it is soy based rather than dairy based. So far I have seen wonderful results. However, we only have two soy feedings under our belt so we will see how the long term effects pan out. I'm hoping more than anything that this switch will make him more comfortable. I hate to see him looking as if he's in some sort of pain at all. Especially when thats a result of something he must do frequently, like eating.

Phew! I'm beat, time for bed. Love to all!

Corn Flake Chicken

Just tried out this new recipe and it is YUM (and really easy!) so I figured I would share!

Corn Flake Chicken

2 Eggs

1/4 cup milk

2 1/2 cups cornflakes

1 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

1 chicken, cut up

5 tbsp butter

Put eggs, milk, salt, and pepper in bowl, and beat. Dip chicken in mixture, the rub in crushed cornflakes. Place on a cookie sheet. Dribble melted butter over all. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. (You can also use crushed ritz crackers).

Mommyitis

It's been a while, I know. I'm a very bad blogger. Shhhhh.. don't tell anyone. I've made it through my first big holiday alone. Jack and I had a wonderful thanksgiving and were happy to spend it with extended family since we couldn't have daddy. I think in total over the past 3 days, I've eaten the amount equal to a full turkey. But man, was it yummy. A recent FRG update stated that Jeff was able to enjoy a pretty normal holiday, in the culinary aspect at least. His meal was complete with many variations of turkey, and of course some mouth watering desserts. However, I would say they had a special topping that we here on the homefront did not, sand. None the less, it's good that our soldiers celebrated too.

Jack is practically glued to me today. He wants no part of his swing, or his play mat, or anything else I've tried to present with an excited face. I think he gets like this when he misses his daddy. We've got to SEE daddy a lot in the past couple days thanks to a recent improvement on the FOB. Personal internet! Jeff now has access to internet on his personal computer in his room. Which has allowed for another new benefit, webcam. Jack and I can see him and he can see us. It is wonderful! People may think I'm crazy, but Jack knows that's his daddy on there. Just like he knows when Jeff calls. His big blue eyes just light up and he kicks and coos and grunts. It melts my heart every time. There's nothing like that father/son bond and distance doesn't change it, that's for sure. I love my boys!

Today is supposed to be cleaning day for me but my son's clinging has put that on hold. He comes first, the dusting and sweeeping will still be there tomorrow. But at 2 months going on 20 years, Jack is growing too fast. I'm going to cherish every minute he still wants me to comfort him, because I know there will be a day he'll have to comfort me.

Early Bird

Up with my baby boy this morning, as usual. And It's a lovely morning. Regardless of the fact that I am still very tired, and regardless of the fact that Jack woke me up to eat a measely ounce of formula before falling back asleep, I am happy.

These past few days have shown me how blessed I am. I have a wonderful family on both Jeff and I's sides. I have a great little "Jasper" in Jack, for all you Twilight-ers, that keeps my calm and collected when I feel like falling apart. A husband that loves me unconditionally and wholey. Most of all, God has blessed me with serenity. Laughter calms my soul. I know there are things that are impossible to change in the world. But I can however, change the way I react to these things. And it is in this that i have come to find peace.

Yesterday was a day filled with Christmas music, flour, sugar, milk, eggs, pecans, chocolate, peanut butter, and the list goes on and on. You name it, we made it into a cookie. Fudge of all flavors and Rice Krispie Treats were among the fruits of our labor as well. I've never seen some many cookies in one place in my life. The whole kitchen counter filled with ingredients and mixers, bowls of dough. The oven, at any given time filled with 4 cookie sheets of rounded yummy-ness baking. The rather large dining table overflowing with cookie covered cooling racks and tubs ready to be filled with the finished product. I must say that this baking extravanganza was a new and eye-opening experience for me. Coming from a small family where none of the women really like to cook that often, I have always associated cooking/baking with work. I have always thought of it as something that you had to do, not wanted to do. But I will tell you I have never had so much fun in a kitchen as I did in Michelle's yesterday. Singing our hearts out to Christmas carols. Inhaling that intoxicating smell of warm cookie dough in the oven. Opening the door to feel the cool, brisk air of the approaching winter. Telling stories and laughing with family about anything and everything. I encourage you to bake with your family. Set aside a day. Do it up right. You don't have to bake cookies, it can be anything you want. Just do it. If not for the satisfaction of accomplishing a recipe, do it for the fellowship and the love involved. It's amazing how sweet a little sugar can be!

Gravel Road

Do you know how much I love you?

The earth 12 times over is no where near it.

Do you know how much I miss you?

1,000 letters with 10,000 words couldn't sufice.

Oh how you've stole my heart.

Your beautiful mind and it's uncomparable exhibitions of love.

When our stay on earth is through,

will you forget about me?

I am not frightened, I will not worry.

Our paths are now intertwined forever.

One unending gravel road.

I will walk beside you until we reach the golden gate and beyond.

We will meet our Savior together.

Because of you, I'm no longer scared.

Because of you, I feel safe in my own skin.

Because of you, I am who I am.

Facing myself

My, it has been a while hasn't it..

I have been out taking a personal leave of absence for my emotional well being. I think I am ready to write again. I feel like I have been running, and running, and running.. in circles. Looking, frantically searching for anything and everything to fill the void that has been formed from Jeff being gone. Deep inside I know nothing can heal my heart but my husband. But still, I scan the earth over for the one thing that will make me feel whole again, knowing perfectly well that the "thing" (the person) is far far away. How do I keep this from defeating me? I still have not come to a conclusion that lets me win. I will tell you though, I will promise you, I will vow under God's watchful eye that I will never stop battling. For my husband, for my son, for myself.. I will not let this depression inhabit my body again. I am better than you, depression. I am better than you in every form that you possess. You are a rude comment from a stranger, I will respond to you with a witty, compelling argument and a smile. You are a feeling of failure in myself, I will remind myself I'm doing my best and smile. You are the waterfall falling down my face from the pain of the cold pillow beside me, I will let God heal my heart and carry me until I can walk on my own again.

I am here to tell you, you are not going to win this time. I am a strong woman. I will prevail over you.

Let my words heal those of you that are having a hard time as well. Please let them into your heart. 

"When I'm weak, You make me strong

When I'm blind, You shine Your light on me.

'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability.

How refreshing to know You don't need me,

how amazing to find that You want me.

So I'll stand on Your truth and I'll fight with Your strength

'til You bring the victory,

by the power of Christ in me."

-

In me, Casting Crowns

Can't Sleep

I want my husband. I'm tired of putting on my mask for everyone and acting like deployment isn't kicking my butt. I hate it. I HATE it. I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to stay up in all hours of the night with a baby who wants his daddy. I don't want to cry with my little boy because I want daddy too. I don't want to cry because the phones aren't working. I don't want to stalk the mailbox. I don't want to answer everyone's stupid questions like "how are you doin?" "how's jeff doing?" As if they don't know the answer? I'm NOT doin good, and neither is he.. Because our definition of happiness is not being separated for a year. I hate that I feel selfish and mean for writing all this because it's ten times harder for Jeff to be away I'm sure. If he can handle it then why can't I? Why can't I be the strong woman he needs me to be? I don't want to look people straight in the eyes and lie. Lie about the way I'm feeling with the whole situation. But when you ask me how I'm doing, I know the answer you're looking for.. And I say "good, good" partly because thats what you want to hear and partly because I don't want to talk about it anymore! But not at all because it's the truth. I just want to have my life back. I want to be back in washington waiting on my husband to get home from work, cooking dinner and falling asleep with him every night. But I can't do that. And I get reminded of that every day when I wake up frantically reaching for my husband and he's not there. I have a horrible dream every night and wake up tossing and turning because he's not here. And more than anything I need him to hold me, to talk me back to sleep. And it can't happen. And I don't even want to post this because I don't EVER want him to think it's his fault. Its not, and I know he doesn't like it either. It's just life, I love my life with him, but I'm allowed to dislike the bad that comes with the good.

Obama, please no more troops to Afghanistan. Send him home. Send them all home.

MOVED!

I've (once again) been MIA for quite a few days now. Good reason ahead I promise! I first want to say just how happy I am to be a mommy right now. Jack is asleep on my chest right now and he's just so peaceful. His hand wrapped tightly around his daddy's dogtags like they always are make this is bitterly sweet sight for mommy. Today we have 8 months and 10 days left of this deployment. While most days it seems it's going by fast, today it is lagging. I wish so badly that Jeff were here to share Jack's special moments. Every time he smiles I get tears in my eyes because I know how badly his daddy wishes he was here to witness it. I wish I could stop time for Jeff. I wish I could fix this for him. But I can't and I'm having a really hard time dealing with that today.

In other news, I have moved! Jack and I are now residing in our own apartment. I must say that I did not realize how much I missed having my own place until I got into my own place again. It's so nice to just relax and not feel like a guest. My mama and I love each other until the very end and it's not that I was unhappy living in her house. I just prefer my own space, especially with the new arrival of little man. I look forward to having many dinners and get togethers here with family and friends. I'm in the process of decorating now. When I it mostly finished I will post pictures. In the meantime, call and let's arrange a time for you to come visit Jack and I in our new home.

Jack news:

I am a very proud mama these past few days. My baby boy is sleeping through the night, in his own crib, in his own room for 3 nights running now. He loves the mobile that Grandma Beth bought for him before he arrived and it usually assists in his falling to sleep. He is also (not surprisingly I'm sure) growing like a weed! Eating 6 ounces per feeding now, sometimes more. He absolutely loves his swing, and will spend hours in it if I let him. And a new activity that has become part of our daily routine is kick time. He just loves to lay by himself on the floor and kick. Sometimes that's all he wants, is to be put down for a while and not cooped up in someone's arms. At six weeks old, I couldn't ask for a better little boy.

Daddy news:

From what I hear, Jeff has been able to call a lot of you lately! I'm so glad you've all been able to enjoy hearing his voice. I think it makes the distance a little more bearable to say the least. In our conversation tonight, Jeff told me that they have just opened up the new MWR facility on the FOB today. There are EIGHTEEN computers inside and he says it's set up very nicely with many more amenities. The gym is supposed to open very soon and he is quite excited about that as well. He also said that they are working on laying foundation for three more rows of CHU's (their living quarters). And when those are done, they will probably be living 1 person per CHU as opposed to the 2 per CHU they are living now. It will be very nice for the soldiers to be able to have that complete privacy that I'm sure they've been missing since July.

Overall today has been a pretty laid back day for Jack and I. We watched the Buckeyes kick some Aggie butt at Michelle's house today, picked up a few things on the way home, and have really just relaxed the rest of the day. Mommy probably should have been working on hanging some pictures or folding some laundry but oh well. A break every now and then doesn't hurt anyone. I'm about to lay this 10 pounds of sleeping baby down in his crib, have a cup of hot tea with some cookies, and then head to bed myself. Goodnight and love to all!

So hectic!

No I didn't die! I know everyone was worried since it's been... what four days? since I blogged last.

Anyways, I've just been living the life of a gypsy pretty much. Avery woke up Thursday morning with a temperature of 103, indicating that her flu (h1n1) had relapsed. Great. At this time, I pulled the mommy card and decided that Jack and I would make the trip to Londonderry to stay with my dad for a couple days until Avery was better a.k.a. fever free for 24 hours. Well, we're still waiting. Last I have heard, she is still running a fever. So here we are. And to top it off, my brother Maxwell started running a fever Friday! Just not nearly as high as Avery's. His hovers around 100-101. So Jack and I are staying put here at Grandpa Kevin's and just making sure to keep our distance from Max.

I've also made a big decision over the past 4 days. Yesterday I put in an application at North River Place Apartments for Jack and I. I'm so excited. My decesion is not influenced by any unhappiness at my mom's house. I'm just ready to be back in my own place. It's very hard to move out of your parents house and then go back later, especially with an infant. If everything works out right we will be living in unit d-9 very soon. I'm supposed to get a call sometime Monday or Tuesday. You all will be the first to know! Besides Jeff of course, I think he has a right to know first where his family is living. hehe.

BREAKING NEWS:

Jack just put his pacifier back in his mouth all by himself!!!!!

.........

TWICE!

Now I must go love on my little future honor student! :)

Deployment Pictures!

I got an update from LTC Clark this morning and it contained some pictures of the soldiers. One of them was of Jeff! So I thought I would share :)

Jeff, playin' on the computer. AHHH I miss him!

SPC. Lumpkin, Jeff's roommate.

And this last picture, I don't know who the guy is.. I just wanted to post it and ask if anyone knows how in the world you would get a lawnchair to Afghanistan? haha

Thats all I have for now, Jack just ate breakfast and we're heading back to bed for a while! YAY! I love my baby, he's such a good boy! Hope you enjoyed the pictures, love to all!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDDAD!

In response to the title, I'd like to first off wish a happy birthday one of the most amazing men I know. Little Jack has big shoes to fill. Jeff wishes he could be here to celebrate with you, Granddad. May you have a wonderful rest of your birthday week (since today is over) and may God bless you with many more birthdays! I love you. And so does #2! :)

Jack has his 1 month check-up yesterday morning. After mommy (9 lbs 15 oz) and daddy (9lbs 2 oz) both took bets on his weight the winner is...... neither of us! Jack weighed in at a whopping 10 lbs 2 oz! The doctor said thats right on track for his age. He is a little ahead in the length department, measuring at 22 1/4 inches. He definitely didn't get his height from me or Jeff. Jack was such a good boy. Didn't cry at all, just squirmed around and grunted and cooed like he always does. After the doctor's appointment we had lunch with Grandpa Kevin at his work. He was more than ready to show of his grandson to his co-workers. And of course everyone was more than ready to admire my handsome little man. Mommy even got lunch out of the visit! My favorite lunch was ready for me, baked chicken breast, green beans, and mashed potatoes, yum! The rest of the day was filled with a trip to walmart for formula, a trip to Hobby Lobby for polymer clay tools, and dinner with Ashley at Steak & Shake.

Today, I'm feeling so very accomplished, having cleaned the entire basement, getting all my laundry done, finishing 20 more charms, working on spanish homework, and still having time to do my daily duties as a mother! Just wanted to share about my superwoman day! Tonight, Jack and I had dinner at Aunt Chris's house for Granddad's birthday. The house was filled with the intoxicating smell of Nanny's cooking as soon as I opened the door. I told her she really should include a warning label on her food, "This product is addicting and could cause you too consume too much, resulting in the immediate gain of 5-10 pounds." Because I know I gained at least 2 tonight! Oh well, it was well worth it! Thank you Nanny for the wonderful meal. I think I will have to get the recipe from you for that chicken. I loved the breading or whatever you call it (please skip over my lack of culinary knowledge).

Too tired to concentrate enough to start some charms tonight, I am heading to bed. Jack is already there and I'm not far behind. Love to all!

Sunny Sunday

After yesterday's all too familiar gloominess, feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin was so very refreshing. Although, I was up before BOB (big orange ball, as Jeff likes to call the sun) today because 4am aparently is a good time to start the day in my son's eyes. He was WIDE awake from 4am to about 8am and made sure that mommy stayed awake too. So I made the most of it, put him in his swing and got a shower, did my hair and makeup, and got my stuff ready for the day out.

We left for Papaw John and Grandma Laura's house, got there about 9:45am. Lauren had mentioned to me that she wanted to read the Twilight book series so I brought over the first one for her and it has been glued to her hand ever since. She is probably still reading as I'm typing this. Although, I don't blame her, that book is definitely hard to put down and I'm sure all you Twilight addicts agree with me. Uncle Justin sat in the back seat and cared for baby Jack's every whim and need. Laura and I talked about anything and everything. I think we both were in need of some woman-to-woman venting. We got to Papaw Mel and Mamaw Katy's house a little after 11am. Let me just say that I absolutely love the decor of Katy's house. It's that old-style country, coo coo clocks, TONS of precious moments figurines, and pictures of loved ones everywhere. It's a home, and I love that about their house. Mamaw Katy immediately stole the baby :) She adores him. And Jack made a big step today.. not falling asleep when Mamaw Katy picks him up! Woo! Go Jack! I worked on fixing their computer up a little so that they could use the internet to keep in touch with family/friends a little better. Deleted lots of un-needed programs and files, changed anti-virus protection and cleaned out Katy's emails for her. So you better be reading this Mamaw! No excuses now! hehe. We had roast pork, kraut, green beans, and mashed potatoes for lunch/dinner. It was yummy! (Another great thing about their house, always yummy food!)

Jack and I are back home now. We just talked to daddy, who's very tired as he's been up for close to 24 hours now. Other than that he's doing well and the muscle relaxers seem to be helping with his hamstring pain a bit. They are due to get a shipment of mail in tomorrow morning so I'm hoping that he will get Katy and I's birthday boxes we sent to him.

Tomorrow is Jack's one month well check-up. Anyone wanna guess his weight? Jeff says 9lb 2oz and I'm guessing 9lb 15oz. Tune in tomorrow to see if you who won! Bye for now and love to all!

Tears are flowing this morning

Jack decided to start our day at 4am today, daddy hasn't called like he was supposed to, and someone just sent me this link. Gotta pull it together now, its gonna be a long day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-iFYrgxjUc

A tribute to my soldier boys and their families

After meeting and marrying my husband, I've had two more close friends of mine join the army as well. They are both Ohio Army National Guard, but none the less, soldiers. Today one of them graduated from Basic Combat Training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. So I thought I'd dedicate my blog today, not only to him but to all the soldiers out there, and especially the three in my thougts tonight. And lastly, and often most importantly, this is for the families of the soldiers. They are the rock, the roots that hold them steady. Here's to you..

CPL. Jeffrey A. Davis (Currently serving in Afghanistan as part of Operation Enduring Freedom) - Baby, I love you and I'm so proud to be your wife. You're amazing, and I know you are hating being away right now. You are doing a very selfless thing. nothing can compromise my love for you. I can't wait until you get home! Only 9 more months!

JOHN AND LAURA - I wanted a picture of you and Jeff to add on here too, but I didn't have one :( I apologize, but I wanted to recognize you too!

PFC. Adam L. Murch (Currently in AIT combat medic training at Fort Sam in Houston, Texas) - If I ever had a big brother, if I ever claimed someone to be my honorary big brother, it would be you. You've ALWAYS been there for me, and I know you will do the same for your soldiers as a medic as well.  

PVT. Jacob A. Peecher (Completed and graduated from Basic Combat Training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina today) - You and I have been friends forever and I'd never once heard you mention the Army until you told me you were signing. Regardless, I couldn't be more proud. You are a great friend to me, one of my very best. Congratulations on graduating today, bud!

CPL. DAVIS, PFC. MURCH, and PVT. PEECHER I love you all. Thank you for your service. If there's anything at all that any of you need, you know the number. To the families, I am here for you as well. The military is a bond that is different from any another. We are a family in ourselves and must watch out for each other. I'm so proud of these soldiers and their families. Stand strong boys!

My new lifeline

So, I found out the hard way that cell phones and baby bathtubs don't make for a good result. My poor, poor LG Lotus went fizzled away in the toddler spa before I could salvage it. After many what I consider unnecessary jokes and ridiculing, my oh so loving husband and I decided that I could not go without a cell phone. So Jack and I packed up in the car and headed to the Sprint store, taking the recently bathed Lotus with us. We made a quick stop at the post office to mail daddy's birthday care package first. It will get there late (his birthday is Saturday) but at least he'll get it eventually. Upon arriving at the Sprint store. An associate who I normally always deal with there, Garron, immdiately approached me. As he was asking me "How can I help you today?" I think he saw the humor/frustration on my face. I told him what happened, and he kind of laughed. Proceeding, we found in my account that I would have to pay full price for a phone because I was not yet eligible for any upgrades. Okay, that sucks, but I was expecting it. I started looking at my options. There's hardly any non "smart phones" anymore, and no phones under the price of 300 dollars. Consdering these two things, I decided I would spend the extra money and get the smart phone that I wanted. It came down to two final choices, the Palm Pre and the HTC Hero. Both touch screen, one with a QWERTY button keyboard, one without. One an android phone, one not. I decided on the HTC Hero. It's much like ATT's iPhone. It harbors wi-fi, and has tons of applications that you can install, depending on your interests. So far I have installed just a few applications. The ShopSavvy app. allows you to scan barcodes using the phone's camera, and then it tells you where you can find the item the cheapest locally and online. The Calorie Counter app. also scans barcodes, then tells you how many calories are in the food item. The third and last app. I've installed so far is called Shazam. Shazam listens to a song thats currently playing and identifies the title and artist. It then saves it to your phone as a reminder for you to purchase and download it later. Overall, as you can probably tell, I'm still learning about this phone, but I'm loving it so far.

Just can't get enough Jack

"Daddy is my super hero"

Getting into the Halloween spirit!

Hanging out with great-grandma Bouillion

Nothing too exciting today. Jack slept midnight to 6am then 7am to 10am. Which obviously means I got the same resting hours. Gosh, I love my little boy. I didn't hear from my other love today. I think the communications are out maybe. I'm hopeful for a phone call tomorrow. Upon waking up at ten, I fed Jack and then he enjoyed his swing for a while during mommy's shower. Following, we went for a walk around the corral. Jack fell back to sleep thanks to the rocky, bumpy ride. At 2pm we met Great-grandma Bouillion and Great-Aunt Kathy for lunch at Charley's. Grandma and Aunt Kat tried everything they could muster to awaken the zombie baby. They mostly failed, only succeeding when Jack decided he was hungry enough to open eyes to eat. We sat in the dining room of Charley's Steakery for THREE HOURS! Of course we weren't actually eating for that long, mostly just visiting, catching up with each other, and etc. It was nice. We, hopefully, will do it again soon. We picked up some more formula on the way out of town and headed to grandpa Kevin's house for a visit. Grandpa was, as always, completely elated by his grandson. The smile on his face just lights up my day. I'm glad that he is having such a great relationship with his grandson already. It's so cute! :)

Now we are home and relaxing for the rest of the night. Long day makes mommy a baby tired! Goodnight and love to all!

3 down, 9 to go!

Yay!!!! I'm feeling so accomplished today. We are in single digits for months left and we're kicking this deployment's butt! Don't get me wrong it's been an emotional roller coaster on both sides of the world, but overall we are handling it very well in my opinion. Not that I ever had any doubts. It's just nice to think that I can do this, I am doing this. I'm strong enough. And the best part is that I know when I'm doing okay, Jeff doesn't worry as much. Therefore, he does better as well. Nine months and my husband will be back in my arms, and our son back in his. I can't wait!

As a reward for myself, I enjoyed a relaxation massage at Looks Unlimited Spa today. I highly reccommend this service for anyone who needs to destress. Call Melissa immediately! It was amazingly relaxing. I haven't found many thing that will let me fully relax between Jeff being deployed, a new baby, started back to school, etc. But today, for an hour I really was at peace with everthing in my mind. I even rescheduled for next month, and will probably continue to return regularly in months to come after that. I think that having my massage to look forward to every month will help the time to pass quicker. It will give me something immediate to be excited about, rather than focusing on the long term homecoming. Kudos to you Melissa the massage therapist, you've earned an additional regular client!

Jeff arrived back at his FOB safely yesterday. He is back with his unit and enjoying the many new amenities that have been added to his abode since he left. He says the food at the newly operating DFAC is much tastier than what he's become accustomed to so far. There's been a downgrade in some of the other conveniences, however. There is no longer access to computers and internet availible for use. Aparently, the sattelite has been tampered with by one of the soldiers, resulting in the sattelite eventually breaking. Now, they have to wait for someone to come to the FOB to fix it. When this person is coming is currently unknown but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll be soon and that the soldiers will STOP messing with things! In addition to no computers, the number of telephones available has been cut down to three for the entire FOB. Meaning hugely long lines and even more limited use. A new MWR tent (where the computers and phones are housed) is being built at this time. The word is that the current computers and phones will be moved in as well as additional of each, as soon as the tent is completed. How many computers and phones will be added? Who knows. While the decrease in communication tools is grounds for being a little discouraged, I just have to remember that we are blessed that they've maintained any contact devices at all.

Dear Army,

Thank you for your efforts to keep families close emotionally when you must physically separate them. You catch a lot of heat from military and civilians alike claiming you don't do anything for families. I am apologizing for them. It's inevitable and known that military families will probably experience at least one deployment in the wartime we are currently enduring. You must take my husband, at least you're trying to help keep us as comfortable as you can. You don't hear it enough, this is an Army wife saying thank you!

Sincerly,

a very proud army wife.

Splish Splash

Jack had his first real bath last night. Up until this point he's had sponge bathes while we were waiting for his umbilical cord stump to disconnect. But before bedtime last night, he actually got to sit is his infant tub in the water. He didn't cry at all! In fact, I think he sort of enjoyed it. I gave him his pacifier and he just sat contently while I proceeded to wash him up. Just wanted to share! Here's some pictures.

"Ooooo.. why am I in water?"

"Thanks mama, that feels good"

Washin' the hair

All done!

Deployment = Completely Normal

I haven't heard from Jeff since Wednesday night. I'm assuming he is back in Afghanistan. The last time we spoke he had a flight scheduled from Kuwait to Kandahar, so he should be back in theater by now. I'm actually glad he's finally back there, because he has missed his guys so much. I miss him too, but I know that he needs to be there with them right now. For the health of his soldiers, and for the emotional needs of himself. As you can probably tell I am doing okay with the re-deployment. I've done a lot of self-finding in the past couple days. With the help of my son, I've found that I really do have a great life. Everyone says "I can't imagine what you're going through, I couldn't do it." Well, actually yes you COULD do it.. if you had to. You never know what you're fully capable of until you're forced to find out. What kind of life would I have if I walked around moping constantly about how I miss my husband? Of course I miss him, I miss him and worry about him more than you can imagine (like you said). But I refuse to stop my life just because he's not here, I refuse to stop OUR life. He's living his doing his job and I've got to keep things going back here at home. Having Jack has assisted in making me realize just how important completing this task is. Jack needs to know that when his daddy leaves, it doesn't mean anything bad. It just means that Jeff has to work away from home for a while helping other people who really need him. Deployment is going to be a regular part of our lives with a career in the military, so it needs to seem exactly that to our chilren... regular, and normal. I know that I will still have breakdowns, and our kids will too. But thats normal too. As long as 90 percent of the time our life is still our life.

In other discussions for today... Jack slept from 11pm-5am last night. No, you're not seeing things! You read that sentence right, my wonderful baby boy slept 6 hours straight through the night! Gosh, I love him so much. Jack- you are the most considerate little 22 day year old boy that I know :) hehe.

Before his amazing sleeping skills last night, we enjoyed dinner at Papaw John and Grandma Laura's house. Steak, mac&cheese, salad, and chocolate pudding! Yummy. It felt so good to be at their house just hanging out and relaxing. I have gotten a lot closer with my in-laws over the 15 days of R&R Jeff was given, and I'm glad I did. I love them, and I know they would/will do anything for me and Jack that they can. Justin and Lauren are great company as well. Lauren is so very sweet and I'm hoping she and I can enjoy some good girl time within the next 9 months. Justin is always wanting to help with Jack, doing anything and getting me everything I need. Its evident how much he loves his "baby Jack" as he calls him. I'm so very lucky to have such a great ... family-in-law? Is that the correct term?

I would like to clear up what has been going on with Avery. She indeed contracted the H1N1 virus. Doctors diagnosed her without a test and with no offering of any kind of treatment. They said to keep everyone away from her, take tylenol for the fever, and wait it out. I'm happy to report that she is doing much better and will probably be heading back to school Monday. She hasn't run a fever for over 24 hours and is playing and bouncing around like normal Avery today. Jack and I are looking to be in the clear. We've strictly confined ourself to the basement for the past few days as a preventive measure. Both he and I are at a pretty high risk for contracting the virus even without it being in our home. Jack, because he is a newborn, and me because my immune system is low and I have chronic asthma. Mom has played a big part in keeping the two of us healthy, keeping Avery upstairs and cleaning and washing everything she's touched.

In closing, I would like to say how very excited I am for 2pm tomorrow. I will be enjoying an afternoon massage at Looks Unlimited. I chose an hour of a relaxation massage, figuring it was well overdue and will be beneficial to my emotional side to relax a little. Look for results tomorrow! Love to all!

3 weeks and counting

Our baby boy is three weeks old! NO WAY! He is growing extremely too fast. Seems like just yesterday I was heading to the hospital to have him. His face has changed so much since just 21 days ago. He looks less like a newborn and more like a chubby-cheeked baby every single day. Also, to me at least, I see his daddy in him more and more each day as well. (Which I'm completely okay with!). I think that I'm falling into my role as a mother pretty well, and a single mother at that. Avery has been sick since Monday and mom has been caring for her. Since I have such a low immune system and because Jack is so little, we've been strictly confining ourselves to our basement apartment. Only climbing the stairs to the next floor when we have to. As a result, I have been thrown into the single-mothering lifestyle fairly quickly. I went from having a daddy to help and lots of visitors to help to it just being me 24/7. But really, it hasn't been all that bad. Jack is definitely cooperative in the effort. I wouldn't be half as happy with our routine if he wasn't such a good little boy. He sleeps mostly through the night (11pm-8am), only waking up once around 3-4am to eat. He sits peaceful in his swing (which I set in the bathroom) and allows me to shower and dry my hair, do my makeup, etc. Most time he is just content as long as he's close to me. He even does well on our outings, just chilling out and looking around from his stroller. I'm so appreciative of all these things. I think daddy must have maybe had a talk with him before he left about being good for mommy ;) So here's to you Jack, mommy's little man!

My heart is traveling again.

Well Jeff has headed back overseas. R&R was amazingly enjoyable and much needed for both of us and Jack too. Jack and Jeff immediately bonded and continued to throughout the two weeks they were together. As a mother, that is the single most heart-warming sight to me. Seeing my baby boy bonding with the man who has my heart. I know that Jeff worries about it sometimes but there's no doubt in my mind that Jack will remember him fully come July. They are two peas in a pod!

Jeff called today and said he had made it through Germany and he is safely on the ground in Kuwait. No word on when he'll be continuing on. He sounds well and said that he was able to sleep quite a bit on the three flights he's endured so far. I recieved a deployment update from Cpt Fausnaugh today as well. The update contained information stating that the DFAC (cafeteria) was up and running at the FOB and the soldiers are enjoying much better food, and many more choices in foods as well. Also a big improvement has taken place since Jeff left. 3-17 (Jeff's unit) has moved into their RLB's. RLB's are kind of like a mobile shed, for lack of a better description. Imagine a semi-trailer, but the size cut in half. I think there are four guys stuffed in each 16 x 8 square foot RLB. While space is tight, each one contains an air conditioner and heater. The best feature of them though, according to the soldiers, is that they have blinds installed that when closed completely block out the sun. This has asisted majorly in the resting of our guys during the day, after they've gotten off of their night shifts. The MWR facility (where soldiers are given access to computers, internet, and phones) are on the schedule to recieve 15 more computers on top of the 5 they already have by the end of the month. This will allow for shorter wait lines and more frequent usage as a result, hopefully.

After leaving the airport Monday afternoon, I stopped by a Babies R Us store since I was already in Columbus. Jack is growing like a weed! He is already comfortably fitting into 0-3 month clothing. I picked up a couple more outfits in that size that were on sale, the "What to expect: the first year" book, formula, and...... his halloween costume!! He is going to be peas in a pod. Jeff and I had seen the costume on a website online when we were looking before. Then I saw in it in the store and it was even cuter in person, too cute to pass up. Here is a picture

He is going to look so cute. I can't wait to dress his up in it! Well the new episode of NCIS is coming on. Its one of Jeff and I's regular shows, so Jack and I are going to watch it and head to bed. Love to all!

Introducing.. the poop-face

My mom has always joked about how, when I was a baby, I used to make this specific face when I was pooping. I laughed it off every time she reminded me of this.. until these past couple days. Jack definitely gets this face from me. While this face is cute, you have NO idea what kind of mess is lurking about 10 inches south from this decieving adorableness. I truly belief that God made babies cute because otherwise people wouldn't like them. Don't mistake my words for meaning I don't like my son, I love my son dearly and wholey. But my lord is he stinky sometimes! I had no idea his little body could even produce such a "show". We have been lucky enough to only get a few of the dreaded explosive "gifts" so far. But I have heard that the TNT gets worse and more frequent with age. I guess we will find out. For all of you out there with children, why didn't you warn me? hello? And for all of my family/friends without children, I'm more than happy to be your poop-face warning liason to the parenting world.

Past couple days have been nothing out of the ordinary. Jeff and I are enjoying our time together and trying not to think about him leaving. We've mostly just stayed home lately. The UPS man brought me my books for school yesterday! I'm so excited to start at the end of this month and seeing the books, the physical evidence that I'm really re-entering the education world, that just made me even more excited. Last night, my husband and I enjoyed a "date night" at Olive Garden, just the two of us. My mom offered to watch the baby for us so we could have some time out of the house alone for the first time since he's been home (and last time most likely). I achieved a big accomplishment just in leaving the house without Jack. I have been very emotionally unstable in that area thanks to post-partum hormones. But last night, I did it. I was able to put my worries aside and enjoy my husband (and the breadsticks! yum!). Just wanted to congratulate myself, so thanks for letting me gloat.

Currently this morning, the boys are out "huntin' squirrel." By boys I mean Steven and Jeff. Steven has been a staple here at the Hartshorn/Krebs/Davis household lately. He and Jeff are so funny together. They have one of the most genuine friendships I've ever known. Living proof that some people in this chaotic world we call life really can be fully trustworthy and good-hearted friends. Sometimes I tend to look for the bad in the world and forget the good. Bad often overshadows good, but the good will always overcome the bad.

14 day old night owl

Jack is 2 weeks old today, well he will be at 15:37. He has changed so much since he was born. He is awake a lot more these days. Unfortunately, its mostly been during the nighttime recently. He was doing so good, and now it seems that his days and nights are confused. I guess it is to be expected with infants, especially newborns. Daddy and I are just hanging in there, and so are the bags under our eyes.

Good news for today: Jack had his 2 week check up and he is healthy as can be! He weighs 8 pounds 8 ounces, which is 10 ounces up from last week, and 6 ounces up from his birth weight. Go Jack! Somehow I'm not surprised considering he loves his bottle. Sometimes we have to take it from him because it seems he is trying to suck that thing inside out! He's eating about 4 ounces every four hours now, sometimes less, often more. We've started to recieve the oh so pleasant blessing of formula fed, horribly smelly diapers. Who would have thought that such a little person can make such a big mess?

Blogs have been few and far between lately, I know. I'm enjoying my family for this short amount of time I have them both together in one place. Everything else is negotiable right now. I promise the updates will pick back up soon. I'm not looking forward to Jeff leaving (obviously). I get kind of panicky when I think about it right now. Could be the hormones, could just be that I'm more in love with him right now than ever. Seeing him with our baby boy, its just amazing. He's such a good daddy already. You can tell that he loves his "little man" as he's come to call him, more than anything. Andddddd..... he loves me! And I'm going to miss him. I know, I know.. Right now you're saying "It'll be okay Kate, he'll be home soon, and you have Jack now, and blah blah blah." I don't mean to offend anyone trying to encourage me, but you can never understand until you've been there. It's a different kind of hurt, a different kind of worry. One you can't prevent and can't turn off, ever. My husband is the only one that I want to talk to about it, when he's gone. I'm going to miss his arms around me. That's my safe zone. I feel like nothing can hurt me there. When I look into his eyes right now, I see that he doesn't want to leave either. But we don't talk about it much. As much as it hurts to admit it, we've kind of fallen into a routine for him leaving out of habit. And we've done it without ever discussing it. We don't talk about it or plans for the day he leaves until we absolutely have to. We almost act like its not happening soon. Sometimes of course, I have breakdowns, and I cry, and I tell him I don't want him to leave. I feel so badly when I do that, because I don't ever want him to feel guilty for the huge, courageous sacrifice he's making in fighting for his country. But he never fails to make everything better when I have those breakdowns. He just sits with me and holds me until I've calmed down, and thats exactly what I need at those times. Amazing, how he knows exactly what I need huh? I couldn't ask for anything more/better. He's my only need. He and Jack are everything in this world to me. I try to always tell myself that when he's gone, he's gone for good reason. He's helping protect other people's families... Other people's everything.