Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Almost 33% done with this "yucky deployment" as Jack calls it. Seeing that green grow makes me happy. Hurry up time!
How are the boys?
Hehe. The boys are crazy as ever! The are eating almost constantly (uhm, mother-in-law who has done this before... why did you not warn me about how hard it is to keep any food in the house?). At three-and-a-half and 17 months, these "minions" keep my life interesting, exciting, full of laughter, and oh... they make me want to pull my hair out sometimes. Did I mention that? (But that's a rant for another day). How could you not love those silly faces?
Jack is loving school. His teacher, Mrs. Faith says that he's doing wonderful. He can (kind of) sing the alphabet song now. He counts to 10, sometimes further. His favorite thing to do at school is to play in the water table, so much so I have to pack two extra shirts for him each day. My favorite part about age 3 has been watching Jack learn and explain things in his own way. He says the funniest things, and he wants to know everything about everything. Per his request, I explained water towers to him a few weeks ago and he has been interested ever since. His favorite song is "the hey song" (AKA "Ho Hey" by the Lumineers) and he loves to sing and dance. I love the way he says things in his own special way. Just the other day I heard him telling Jonah to stay away from the Christmas tree and he said "Brother Allen you don't touch that, you hear?!" And he likes to ask questions now with "no?" on the end. Ex: "Thats a watertower, no?" or "I have school today, no?" He's such a goof, with such a big personality. I should start blogging more just to share his silliness with y'all.
Jonah is rotten. That's the best way I can explain his little personality. He recently began to cut all four canine teeth, or devil teeth, my own personal name for them. Jonah is all about Jonah right now. If he doesn't want to get dressed, it's a 10 minute squirmy, whiney, crying fest. He loooooooves to pull ornaments off the Christmas tree and his favorite words are "yesh" and "nawh". Take a guess at which one he uses more often (; Despite everything, he is still my cuddly baby boy. He has never really been attached to any sort of comfort toy until recently. His blanket never leaves his sight anymore. He likes to bring it to me and ask "baby up pwease" which is code for: mommy, I want you to pick me up, wrap me up in my blankey, and cuddle me tight. Oh, and no you can't do anything else, I want all your attention. K? Okay, thanks.
I have to be honest though. Jonah would much rather play with his big brother than mommy anymore. His least favorite part of the day is when Jack is at school. And if Jonah is not with me when I go to pick Jack up, Jack immediately says he wants his brother. It's adorable to me how much they love each other. Of course, they fight and get upset with each other. But I believe they are going to be the stability each other needs during the rest of this deployment and beyond. There's a saying floating around pinterest
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
I haven't blogged in over a week. The only thing that I can figure out is that I have blocked myself off from my emotions. Emotional numbness. Right now, I can't tap into that part of my brain. Honestly, I think I went into survival mode or something? This all probably sounds so very silly. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me, because honestly I am feeling fine (: I'm staying busy, and happy. I smile a lot. But I can't help but feel like this is not how it's supposed to be. I am baring my heart here and hoping this doesn't upset my husband when I say ... I don't need him right now. I feel like I can handle the next 8 months just fine. On the same token, I feel awful for not being more ... Loving? Towards Jeff. We are fortunate to get to talk a lot and I'm sure he can sense lately that I am not saying "I miss you" as much, or talking about about I really wish he were here. Some of you won't understand this and will probably have a few choice words to say about this. But this is me being honest about how I feel right now and I hope that my words will comfort someone else that is going or will go through something similar.
I also haven't been able to eat much lately. Food makes my stomach hurt. I am struggling to intake at least 800 calories a day (yes I am aware it should be at least 1200). Sleep is hard to come by lately as well, it takes forever to fall asleep and forever to wake up. I have lost 15 pounds in 25 days. I should feel accomplished that I have lost weight, but despite the fact I'm playing volleyball and doing Zumba 5 days a week... I almost feel like I'm cheating since I haven't been eating well. I'm almost embarrassed to tell anyone I've lost weight. I have found that doing Zumba after I put the boys to bed helps exhaust me a little more in the evenings (a good thing when you have a hard time falling asleep).
Regardless of everything, I need to say this:
I know all of this is very hard for you to hear. I know you wish there was something you could do to help me. I hope that you know that no matter how I feel (or don't feel) at this moment I never really stop missing you. Or loving you. Or wanting you back ASAP. I will try really hard to be better
at showing you how much you mean to me. The flowers you sent greeted me this morning and reminded me that I am loved. Just the thought of you makes me smile. The thought of your enduring your second homecoming gives me butterflies (good ones). I can still feel all the happiness you have given me and will give me in our whole life, I just can't feel the sadness of you being away at this moment in our life. I love you, always and forever.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Today I finally felt like I could make it through this deployment. It's a good feeling. I have wonderful husband who loves me very much and is (fortunately) able to contact me quite often. I have wonderful friends here who keep me busy, they help whenever I ask, they are just there. I have wonderful friends and family back home that constantly amaze me with their kind word, encouragement, and love. I have two wonderful babies who keep my world turning even I wish I could stop it for a second, they "know" and assure me we have to keep going. I have a wonderful life. Someday, this deployment will be an accomplishment for us rather than an obstacle. That day will come. It will. I just have to keep remembering that. In the meantime, I need to keep busy!
We started off the day kind of rocky. I think I have washed, am washing, or will wash every surface/fabric in my house before long. Why you ask? Potty training is definitely regressing. *thumbs down* So frustrating. He won't tell me when he has to go. If I ask him, he just says he doesn't to go. And if I tell him he needs to go try, he screams, throws a big dramatic fit and then (usually) gets in there and does his business. But lately, he just goes wherever and whenever he wants. The floor, the couch, my bed (he also got my "I'm going to keep and sleep with this shirt because it smells like Jeff" shirt on that one. I tried not to be really mad but I really was. Definitely a mommy fail). I am at a loss. I sure hope it gets better soon. Potty training makes me want to bang my head against a brick wall. But... A big kiss from my littlest love definitely helped lift my spirits this morning.
We went out to the mall today to get Jack a few more pieces of fall clothing. He has to take 1-2 extra outfits with him to school each day just in case (mostly because of potty training) and he only had 6 pairs of long pants. So Jeff and I decided together that we should let him pick out some more clothes he likes, he's probably old enough for that. These were his absolute favorite pick of the day:
I can't believe that is the title I get to write today. Just over three years ago, I was holding him in my arms as I introduced him to his daddy. I once came across quote about parenthood that has been my favorite ever since. It said "You are the best adventure." I haven't heard anything about parenthood more true than that. Jack and Jonah are my absolute best adventure, but today Jack started a big adventure of his own.
You are the best adventure. My first born. I never knew how much I could love, until I loved you. You started a new adventure today. It will be scary sometimes, fun other times, and there will always be something new that you are supposed to learn. There are other kids at school. Some will want to play with you, some won't. Some kids will be good at coloring, other kids are good at dancing, or building towers. Sometimes you might get frustrated at school, and that's okay. Your daddy and I want you to know that we aren't sending you to school to become the best color-er, or the best dancer, or the best builder of the tallest towers. We don't care about that one bit. We are sending you to school to practice being brave, being kind, and being you. Keep being you. That's the most important thing. Learn how to be you even when others make it hard. You, Jackie James, are sweet, you are the best hugger I know, you are the bestest friend your little brother could ever have, you make the best pretend turkey sandwich I've ever pretend tasted. You are smart, you are quick as a whip, and you are goofy. You are the only you in the world, I can assure you of that. Mommy and Daddy will be brave too, we will remember that you are ready to fly and share yourself and your gifts with the world even if we still see you as that 8 pound baby we were blessed with some years ago. We will be your biggest fans, loudest cheerleaders, and that voice in your head saying "you can do it, Jack Jack".
We love you more than there stars in the sky, we'll love you longer than the universe could ever last, and our love for you is as dependable as the "shun being awaked" every morning!
Forever and always little man,
Love Mommy and Daddy.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Know what that means? We are about 6% done.
Woo, *happy dance*
Today wasn't that exciting. I spent seven hours in the car out-numbered by two toddlers and a crazy pup. A lesser woman wouldn't have attempted it
but it was a breeze.. Haha, I hope you didn't fall for that one.
I knew it was going to be an interesting day when Jonah wanted to help me get ready this morning.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Keeping busy is good in when your spouse is deployed. Thank goodness for that, because busy is what I have been. We have been fortunate enough to have visited with lots of our loved ones over the past week. Yesterday I was so exhausted from all the fun I didn't even have the energy to blog. My mama was nice enough to get up with the boys and let me sleep in this morning. Let me tell you, that is THE BEST gift you can give a military spouse who has children, sleep. Tomorrow I head back south to Fort Campbell so here's a few photos from our last couple days of this this trip.
Yesterday we started off our day with an amazing surprise. DADDY (:
We met Jenna at Sumburger (a restaurant exclusive to my hometown) for lunch. The boys are very good at holding still, or waiting, or keep our eating area clean. So I always feel bad when I take them out to eat, knowing most the time someone will scream at some point and we will leave a mess behind. Though this time, Jack decided to take his mess with him.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Jeff finally made it to his final destination. This makes me happy for more than one reason. It means he probably going to stay put for a while (thus being safer for a while). He has a bed to sleep in and a space (even if it's small) to call his own. Lastly, it means he will be on some sort of schedule, which reduces my stress immensely. It means I don't worry as much because I know what he's doing and when we will talk (approximately). That alone makes a military wife's shoulders feel a bit lighter. On top of all that, right now it looks like his schedule is allowing for him to be awake when I'm awake, and asleep when I'm asleep. *happy dance*. Thank you, Army for the small break, it means a lot.
Today we had lunch with my friend Ashley at our favorite Chinese restaurant. The boys were so happy to see her. Even though it was like a three ring circus, as it always is when we go out to eat, they were fairly well behaved today. It was good to catch up with a friend that I've known since elementary school as well. Ashley turns twenty-two tomorrow, so happy early birthday to her (: we love you and hope its wonderful.
We stopped at the store on the way home to do something I have been planning for a while. I took Jack and let him pick out stuff for his "Letters to Daddy" bag. I decided a few months ago I wanted Jack to have special supplies that only get used when he's writing/drawing for daddy. That way, upon daddy's return when I ask him if he wants to color a picture for daddy... he won't flip out and think Jeff is leaving again. So today we bought all this:
Toddler friendly crayons, a notebook Jack picked out (daddy will be proud it has a corvette on the front), bright blue envelopes (again I let Jack pick), a little calendar for Jack to mark off days in, and a stamp pad and train stamp so daddy will always know who they are from when he sees the envelope with the train (or 500 trains, Jack is excited about stamping). We also got a little pouch to keep it all in, which Jack will get to decorate with fabric markers and I will write Letters to Daddy on. He is super excited to "write his first letter" tomorrow. I can't wait to see what he comes up with. I'm sure it will be nothing that I will understand, and Jeff will have no problem reading it. They are silly like that (:
We came back to Nan's house to repeat Jack's favorite part of the day.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
I've always said I will be honest. I don't want to be one of those people that always writes about her perfect little life. My life is far from perfect, but it's mine... and for some silly reason y'all have taken an interest in reading about it (:
Today was rough from the start. My sweet (almost)15 month-old was a tornado today. My mama's house began to look like I turned a blender on and forgot the lid. Jack thought it'd be a good idea to ride the back of the recliner like a horse. And when I used my mom voice to say "Jackie James Davis the second, you get down from there" I totally spooked him and down he went over the back. He wasn't hurt, but I don't think he'll do that again. Geesh child, mama does NOT want gray hair, in case you misunderstood. Even the Dogs in The house were losing it. Walter (the ridiculously cute black puppy from yesterday's post) broke Jack's favorite toy :( Jack mourned poor "Cranky" for at least 15 minutes, which is a good bit of time in toddler world. Walter then moved on to chasing Luna constantly, trying to get her to play. Luna was not amused.
Deciding that my mom's house was one mess away from the walls caving in, I packed up the boys and went in town to visit with my grandma and aunt Amy. I always love going to visit my grandma, it brings me back to my childhood. I used to love staying with her. My grandma has always been supportive if my decisions even if she didn't agree with them, and I could never thank her enough for that. The boys so enjoyed playing with her and aunt Amy today, makes my heart happy.
After that, Jonah was more than ready for a nap so we ventured back out to "Nan's" house. Jonah went right to sleep, and Jack and I cuddled on the couch until his favorite part of the day came... The part of the day when Avery gets off the bus (:
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
"We had a great day, it was a super way... to spend... some time together"
5 extra awesome mom points for anyone that can tell me what kids show that is from (:
But seriously, we had a great day. Today was my mom's last day off work after having surgery a few weeks ago, so we celebrated her health and spent the day together with her at the same time. My mama even treated me to lunch at Bob Evans. So good. We picked up some things we needed, including some new fleece pajams for the boys (this mama totally underestimated how cold fall, Ohio nights are in a country home). Though the nights are colder than expected, I am so very happy to be home, in my mama and stepdad's house. We are surrounded by open air, back roads, woods, animals, farms... I love it (: I always feel more like myself during/after a visit back home. It grounds me, in a way. I guess "back to my roots" isn't such a silly saying after all.
The boys also have a blast here, Jack especially. He spent 3 hours just playing outside, running, jumping, digging, riding, giggling. It melted my heart to see him so very happy after everything he's been going through lately.
He mostly played by himself or with the dogs outside while waiting for Avery to get home from school. But when he wanted a playmate, Nan wasn't far behind.
We also were lucky enough to receive visits from aunt Kathy and Jenna today. It's always good to catch up with aunt Kathy and Jenna has been one of my very best friends since the 10th grade... so most the time we just pick up where we left off last time I was home visiting (:
We got a message from daddy that said he's on the move again, so please say a prayer for safe travels for him. Other than that we didn't do much of anything today, the boys enjoyed themselves, I crocheted for an hour or more straight today (an accomplishment in itself with my children). And I got to meet and hang out with this adorable, little guy.
His name is Walter (: He is my mama's newest addition to her "pack". He is a yorkie/poodle puppy and is "three kinds of crazy" as Jack called him this morning. Haha. But he's sooooo cute and sweet. How could you not love that face?
I'm off to bed to cross my fingers and toes that I wake up to a message or call from across the globe (: