Monday, September 7, 2009
The title says it all. Insomnia took over my body last night. I woke up around 1am and could not go back to sleep. But, I think God is to blame. I was missing Jeff pretty badly, tears and everything. And what do ya know? At 3ish am he popped online. It was so good to have him comforting me when I needed him most. However I couldn't keep the waterworks from flowing. I cried the whole time we were I.M.ing. Good thing he could not see that. I would hate for him to see me like that because he would just worry and thats the last thing I want. I told him I felt like a big beach ball full of blah. He thought that was really funny. Not that I was feeling bad, just how I explained it. Lovely man, my husband is. Regardless of my sadness, I was happy too to talk to him. I can't wait until I can just hug him. I just want to feel his warmth again, and his arms around me. Nothing can replace that feeling. My severe feeling of lonliness continued into today. I woke up and did not want to do a thing. I laid in this basement all day in the dark. I managed to force doing a load of laundry, but other than that.. I spent the sunlight in the darkness. Depression is a battle I'm constantly fighting and today I feel I lost a battle. Good things there's more than one battle in a war. Tomorrow is a new day.