I guess this would be my first official deployment #2 blogpost.
The send off is over and it has officially begun. I can say with confidence that Jeff and I are in a great place in our marriage, and we both feel ready enough to tackle an extended separation. Folks can say all they want that separation "won't affect them" but that's called being in denial. Of course it will! How could I say 9 months away from my other half wouldn't take any toll on us. What I can tell you is that we are as prepared as we can be for the challenges and changes that will come. I am a lucky girl to have been blessed with a man who loves me so much that I never have to wonder about that.
The goodbye was the hardest I've hard to experience yet. Mostly because of Jack, my (almost) 3 year old. Bless his heart, we thought we had explained everything to him and he understood. But when it came time for us to say goodbye to daddy, Jack started to cry and asked "Can I come with you dad? I wanna come with you!" It was awful. I hope we never have to put our children through that again.
Jonah is still too little to understand anything but the fact that daddy is not here. So he spent his last few minutes with dad playing (:
I love these boys more than my own life.
As hard as it was for me to watch, I can't imagine being in my husband's shoes. He is so brave, so strong. I love that man, and will take good care of his children for him. Keep them as happy as I can, and keep them remembering daddy every day (though I don't think I will have to remind them much at all). I will tell them every day how much their daddy loves them, and misses them, and so wishes he could be here with us.
I think in that, I will find my peace. My husband is doing his job. My job is to make sure the life we have built together keeps on the path we have planned. I can do that. I can so, totally do that right?
Today I am sure I won't go 30 minutes without a tear falling. But tomorrow it will be 35, and the next day 40, and eventually I will get better at this.
I know how to do this.
As much as I don't want to do this again, I know I can and I have to.
I miss you. That is all. I miss you I miss you I miss you. Oh, and I love you.
Day 1- check.