Before Jonah arrived, I had this vision of what it would be like to have two children. Jack would sit on my lap, helping me hold Jonah's bottle. I would spend the morning playing with Jack while Jonah kicked and played in his bouncer and then I would lay them down for a nap in their beds, and kiss both their smiling faces. And they would sleep peacefully while I cleaned up the house, prepared for dinner, and read a little from a favorite book until Jeff got home and greeted our precious boys and I with kisses...
Okay you can stop laughing now.
Let me just start by saying right now as I type this, I'm holding a baby who cries unless I'm holding him... and my toddler is standing on the cushion-less loveseat diving head first into the pile of cushions he made on the floor. The sink is full of dishes, the floor is scattered with chunks of mud from Jeff's boots, and the washer and dryer are wondering if I forgot about them.
The biggest thing I've learned? Sometimes you just have to step back and let things happen.
Strange concept I know, especially for this OCD control freak..
But honestly, How long am I going to have before Jonah doesn't need (or want) me to hold him anymore? A year? Less? Out of his 18 years of "childhood" I only get one to love on him and hold him (and not have him fight to get away or say "Moooom, stop!") and you can bet your hiney I'm going to take advantage of that.
Because I'm not feeling well and am suffering from man voice today.. I stopped myself from telling Jack "no" when he started to pull the cushions off the loveseat. And now, as I'm watching him... I'm happy that I didn't stop him. He is having so much fun. He is an (almost) two year old BOY and he needs this sometimes. The cushions can be put back, and you'll never know they were once a safety net for a rambunctious toddler... but Jack will have had fun today. He will have smiled today. And that's worth it to me.
The dishes will be there later, Jack can help me sweep the floors later, and the laundry
can be thrown out the window will get done eventually... but Jack and Jonah are growing every day. And I want to look back and say "I truly did enjoy my children when they were young" and I want them to look back and say "I had a good childhood and my mommy loved being with me"