3 down, 9 to go!

Yay!!!! I'm feeling so accomplished today. We are in single digits for months left and we're kicking this deployment's butt! Don't get me wrong it's been an emotional roller coaster on both sides of the world, but overall we are handling it very well in my opinion. Not that I ever had any doubts. It's just nice to think that I can do this, I am doing this. I'm strong enough. And the best part is that I know when I'm doing okay, Jeff doesn't worry as much. Therefore, he does better as well. Nine months and my husband will be back in my arms, and our son back in his. I can't wait!

As a reward for myself, I enjoyed a relaxation massage at Looks Unlimited Spa today. I highly reccommend this service for anyone who needs to destress. Call Melissa immediately! It was amazingly relaxing. I haven't found many thing that will let me fully relax between Jeff being deployed, a new baby, started back to school, etc. But today, for an hour I really was at peace with everthing in my mind. I even rescheduled for next month, and will probably continue to return regularly in months to come after that. I think that having my massage to look forward to every month will help the time to pass quicker. It will give me something immediate to be excited about, rather than focusing on the long term homecoming. Kudos to you Melissa the massage therapist, you've earned an additional regular client!

Jeff arrived back at his FOB safely yesterday. He is back with his unit and enjoying the many new amenities that have been added to his abode since he left. He says the food at the newly operating DFAC is much tastier than what he's become accustomed to so far. There's been a downgrade in some of the other conveniences, however. There is no longer access to computers and internet availible for use. Aparently, the sattelite has been tampered with by one of the soldiers, resulting in the sattelite eventually breaking. Now, they have to wait for someone to come to the FOB to fix it. When this person is coming is currently unknown but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll be soon and that the soldiers will STOP messing with things! In addition to no computers, the number of telephones available has been cut down to three for the entire FOB. Meaning hugely long lines and even more limited use. A new MWR tent (where the computers and phones are housed) is being built at this time. The word is that the current computers and phones will be moved in as well as additional of each, as soon as the tent is completed. How many computers and phones will be added? Who knows. While the decrease in communication tools is grounds for being a little discouraged, I just have to remember that we are blessed that they've maintained any contact devices at all.

Dear Army,

Thank you for your efforts to keep families close emotionally when you must physically separate them. You catch a lot of heat from military and civilians alike claiming you don't do anything for families. I am apologizing for them. It's inevitable and known that military families will probably experience at least one deployment in the wartime we are currently enduring. You must take my husband, at least you're trying to help keep us as comfortable as you can. You don't hear it enough, this is an Army wife saying thank you!

Sincerly,

a very proud army wife.

Splish Splash

Jack had his first real bath last night. Up until this point he's had sponge bathes while we were waiting for his umbilical cord stump to disconnect. But before bedtime last night, he actually got to sit is his infant tub in the water. He didn't cry at all! In fact, I think he sort of enjoyed it. I gave him his pacifier and he just sat contently while I proceeded to wash him up. Just wanted to share! Here's some pictures.

"Ooooo.. why am I in water?"

"Thanks mama, that feels good"

Washin' the hair

All done!

Deployment = Completely Normal

I haven't heard from Jeff since Wednesday night. I'm assuming he is back in Afghanistan. The last time we spoke he had a flight scheduled from Kuwait to Kandahar, so he should be back in theater by now. I'm actually glad he's finally back there, because he has missed his guys so much. I miss him too, but I know that he needs to be there with them right now. For the health of his soldiers, and for the emotional needs of himself. As you can probably tell I am doing okay with the re-deployment. I've done a lot of self-finding in the past couple days. With the help of my son, I've found that I really do have a great life. Everyone says "I can't imagine what you're going through, I couldn't do it." Well, actually yes you COULD do it.. if you had to. You never know what you're fully capable of until you're forced to find out. What kind of life would I have if I walked around moping constantly about how I miss my husband? Of course I miss him, I miss him and worry about him more than you can imagine (like you said). But I refuse to stop my life just because he's not here, I refuse to stop OUR life. He's living his doing his job and I've got to keep things going back here at home. Having Jack has assisted in making me realize just how important completing this task is. Jack needs to know that when his daddy leaves, it doesn't mean anything bad. It just means that Jeff has to work away from home for a while helping other people who really need him. Deployment is going to be a regular part of our lives with a career in the military, so it needs to seem exactly that to our chilren... regular, and normal. I know that I will still have breakdowns, and our kids will too. But thats normal too. As long as 90 percent of the time our life is still our life.

In other discussions for today... Jack slept from 11pm-5am last night. No, you're not seeing things! You read that sentence right, my wonderful baby boy slept 6 hours straight through the night! Gosh, I love him so much. Jack- you are the most considerate little 22 day year old boy that I know :) hehe.

Before his amazing sleeping skills last night, we enjoyed dinner at Papaw John and Grandma Laura's house. Steak, mac&cheese, salad, and chocolate pudding! Yummy. It felt so good to be at their house just hanging out and relaxing. I have gotten a lot closer with my in-laws over the 15 days of R&R Jeff was given, and I'm glad I did. I love them, and I know they would/will do anything for me and Jack that they can. Justin and Lauren are great company as well. Lauren is so very sweet and I'm hoping she and I can enjoy some good girl time within the next 9 months. Justin is always wanting to help with Jack, doing anything and getting me everything I need. Its evident how much he loves his "baby Jack" as he calls him. I'm so very lucky to have such a great ... family-in-law? Is that the correct term?

I would like to clear up what has been going on with Avery. She indeed contracted the H1N1 virus. Doctors diagnosed her without a test and with no offering of any kind of treatment. They said to keep everyone away from her, take tylenol for the fever, and wait it out. I'm happy to report that she is doing much better and will probably be heading back to school Monday. She hasn't run a fever for over 24 hours and is playing and bouncing around like normal Avery today. Jack and I are looking to be in the clear. We've strictly confined ourself to the basement for the past few days as a preventive measure. Both he and I are at a pretty high risk for contracting the virus even without it being in our home. Jack, because he is a newborn, and me because my immune system is low and I have chronic asthma. Mom has played a big part in keeping the two of us healthy, keeping Avery upstairs and cleaning and washing everything she's touched.

In closing, I would like to say how very excited I am for 2pm tomorrow. I will be enjoying an afternoon massage at Looks Unlimited. I chose an hour of a relaxation massage, figuring it was well overdue and will be beneficial to my emotional side to relax a little. Look for results tomorrow! Love to all!

3 weeks and counting

Our baby boy is three weeks old! NO WAY! He is growing extremely too fast. Seems like just yesterday I was heading to the hospital to have him. His face has changed so much since just 21 days ago. He looks less like a newborn and more like a chubby-cheeked baby every single day. Also, to me at least, I see his daddy in him more and more each day as well. (Which I'm completely okay with!). I think that I'm falling into my role as a mother pretty well, and a single mother at that. Avery has been sick since Monday and mom has been caring for her. Since I have such a low immune system and because Jack is so little, we've been strictly confining ourselves to our basement apartment. Only climbing the stairs to the next floor when we have to. As a result, I have been thrown into the single-mothering lifestyle fairly quickly. I went from having a daddy to help and lots of visitors to help to it just being me 24/7. But really, it hasn't been all that bad. Jack is definitely cooperative in the effort. I wouldn't be half as happy with our routine if he wasn't such a good little boy. He sleeps mostly through the night (11pm-8am), only waking up once around 3-4am to eat. He sits peaceful in his swing (which I set in the bathroom) and allows me to shower and dry my hair, do my makeup, etc. Most time he is just content as long as he's close to me. He even does well on our outings, just chilling out and looking around from his stroller. I'm so appreciative of all these things. I think daddy must have maybe had a talk with him before he left about being good for mommy ;) So here's to you Jack, mommy's little man!

My heart is traveling again.

Well Jeff has headed back overseas. R&R was amazingly enjoyable and much needed for both of us and Jack too. Jack and Jeff immediately bonded and continued to throughout the two weeks they were together. As a mother, that is the single most heart-warming sight to me. Seeing my baby boy bonding with the man who has my heart. I know that Jeff worries about it sometimes but there's no doubt in my mind that Jack will remember him fully come July. They are two peas in a pod!

Jeff called today and said he had made it through Germany and he is safely on the ground in Kuwait. No word on when he'll be continuing on. He sounds well and said that he was able to sleep quite a bit on the three flights he's endured so far. I recieved a deployment update from Cpt Fausnaugh today as well. The update contained information stating that the DFAC (cafeteria) was up and running at the FOB and the soldiers are enjoying much better food, and many more choices in foods as well. Also a big improvement has taken place since Jeff left. 3-17 (Jeff's unit) has moved into their RLB's. RLB's are kind of like a mobile shed, for lack of a better description. Imagine a semi-trailer, but the size cut in half. I think there are four guys stuffed in each 16 x 8 square foot RLB. While space is tight, each one contains an air conditioner and heater. The best feature of them though, according to the soldiers, is that they have blinds installed that when closed completely block out the sun. This has asisted majorly in the resting of our guys during the day, after they've gotten off of their night shifts. The MWR facility (where soldiers are given access to computers, internet, and phones) are on the schedule to recieve 15 more computers on top of the 5 they already have by the end of the month. This will allow for shorter wait lines and more frequent usage as a result, hopefully.

After leaving the airport Monday afternoon, I stopped by a Babies R Us store since I was already in Columbus. Jack is growing like a weed! He is already comfortably fitting into 0-3 month clothing. I picked up a couple more outfits in that size that were on sale, the "What to expect: the first year" book, formula, and...... his halloween costume!! He is going to be peas in a pod. Jeff and I had seen the costume on a website online when we were looking before. Then I saw in it in the store and it was even cuter in person, too cute to pass up. Here is a picture

He is going to look so cute. I can't wait to dress his up in it! Well the new episode of NCIS is coming on. Its one of Jeff and I's regular shows, so Jack and I are going to watch it and head to bed. Love to all!

Introducing.. the poop-face

My mom has always joked about how, when I was a baby, I used to make this specific face when I was pooping. I laughed it off every time she reminded me of this.. until these past couple days. Jack definitely gets this face from me. While this face is cute, you have NO idea what kind of mess is lurking about 10 inches south from this decieving adorableness. I truly belief that God made babies cute because otherwise people wouldn't like them. Don't mistake my words for meaning I don't like my son, I love my son dearly and wholey. But my lord is he stinky sometimes! I had no idea his little body could even produce such a "show". We have been lucky enough to only get a few of the dreaded explosive "gifts" so far. But I have heard that the TNT gets worse and more frequent with age. I guess we will find out. For all of you out there with children, why didn't you warn me? hello? And for all of my family/friends without children, I'm more than happy to be your poop-face warning liason to the parenting world.

Past couple days have been nothing out of the ordinary. Jeff and I are enjoying our time together and trying not to think about him leaving. We've mostly just stayed home lately. The UPS man brought me my books for school yesterday! I'm so excited to start at the end of this month and seeing the books, the physical evidence that I'm really re-entering the education world, that just made me even more excited. Last night, my husband and I enjoyed a "date night" at Olive Garden, just the two of us. My mom offered to watch the baby for us so we could have some time out of the house alone for the first time since he's been home (and last time most likely). I achieved a big accomplishment just in leaving the house without Jack. I have been very emotionally unstable in that area thanks to post-partum hormones. But last night, I did it. I was able to put my worries aside and enjoy my husband (and the breadsticks! yum!). Just wanted to congratulate myself, so thanks for letting me gloat.

Currently this morning, the boys are out "huntin' squirrel." By boys I mean Steven and Jeff. Steven has been a staple here at the Hartshorn/Krebs/Davis household lately. He and Jeff are so funny together. They have one of the most genuine friendships I've ever known. Living proof that some people in this chaotic world we call life really can be fully trustworthy and good-hearted friends. Sometimes I tend to look for the bad in the world and forget the good. Bad often overshadows good, but the good will always overcome the bad.

14 day old night owl

Jack is 2 weeks old today, well he will be at 15:37. He has changed so much since he was born. He is awake a lot more these days. Unfortunately, its mostly been during the nighttime recently. He was doing so good, and now it seems that his days and nights are confused. I guess it is to be expected with infants, especially newborns. Daddy and I are just hanging in there, and so are the bags under our eyes.

Good news for today: Jack had his 2 week check up and he is healthy as can be! He weighs 8 pounds 8 ounces, which is 10 ounces up from last week, and 6 ounces up from his birth weight. Go Jack! Somehow I'm not surprised considering he loves his bottle. Sometimes we have to take it from him because it seems he is trying to suck that thing inside out! He's eating about 4 ounces every four hours now, sometimes less, often more. We've started to recieve the oh so pleasant blessing of formula fed, horribly smelly diapers. Who would have thought that such a little person can make such a big mess?

Blogs have been few and far between lately, I know. I'm enjoying my family for this short amount of time I have them both together in one place. Everything else is negotiable right now. I promise the updates will pick back up soon. I'm not looking forward to Jeff leaving (obviously). I get kind of panicky when I think about it right now. Could be the hormones, could just be that I'm more in love with him right now than ever. Seeing him with our baby boy, its just amazing. He's such a good daddy already. You can tell that he loves his "little man" as he's come to call him, more than anything. Andddddd..... he loves me! And I'm going to miss him. I know, I know.. Right now you're saying "It'll be okay Kate, he'll be home soon, and you have Jack now, and blah blah blah." I don't mean to offend anyone trying to encourage me, but you can never understand until you've been there. It's a different kind of hurt, a different kind of worry. One you can't prevent and can't turn off, ever. My husband is the only one that I want to talk to about it, when he's gone. I'm going to miss his arms around me. That's my safe zone. I feel like nothing can hurt me there. When I look into his eyes right now, I see that he doesn't want to leave either. But we don't talk about it much. As much as it hurts to admit it, we've kind of fallen into a routine for him leaving out of habit. And we've done it without ever discussing it. We don't talk about it or plans for the day he leaves until we absolutely have to. We almost act like its not happening soon. Sometimes of course, I have breakdowns, and I cry, and I tell him I don't want him to leave. I feel so badly when I do that, because I don't ever want him to feel guilty for the huge, courageous sacrifice he's making in fighting for his country. But he never fails to make everything better when I have those breakdowns. He just sits with me and holds me until I've calmed down, and thats exactly what I need at those times. Amazing, how he knows exactly what I need huh? I couldn't ask for anything more/better. He's my only need. He and Jack are everything in this world to me. I try to always tell myself that when he's gone, he's gone for good reason. He's helping protect other people's families... Other people's everything.