15 things I'm sure are floating around in my 2-year-old's head

Sometimes I wish I could hear what my toddler, Jack, is thinking. I often wonder what thoughts go through his mind and what it would be like to see things through his big, bright, blue eyes.

15 things that I'm almost sure are floating around in my 2year old's head:

1. Jello is confusing. When you poke it it wiggles, you can't smush it, and I don't know why grown-ups want to eat this square.

2. The words to every song are "la la la, lo lo lo!"

3. When doggies howl, it is polite to howl back.

4. Smushing big crickets in the house with my shoe makes my mommy kiss my whole face

5. Sharing is overrated, I don't know why grown ups say I have to. I mean really? get your own toys.

6. My mommy has this weird shiny thing in side of her nose, and for some reason she doesn't want me to get it out for her. I'm just trying to help, ya know?

7. I also tried to help mommy and put Duke (our beagle) on the potty to pee... but she didn't even say thank you?!

8. Why is it okay for daddy to say words and not me?

9. So on Halloween, we can paint on ourselves, walk around to strangers houses, and ask for candy (and you don't even have to say please).. But you can't paint on yourself on any other day, or talk to strangers, and ALWAYS have to say please when you want candy. And then sometimes you still don't even get candy.

10. Also on Halloween, you can collect all the candy you want, but you apparently cannot collect dog turds??

11. Walls totally jump out front of me, that's not very nice of them so I tell them "to time-out!"

12. My daddy yells O! H! I! O! really loud sometimes and wants me to do it too, so I yell random letters and numbers with him like "G! 5! J! 9! 2! O!"

13. I still maintain that my baby brother, Jonah, got that piece of cheese out of the refridgerator by himself, I had NOTHING to do with it and did NOT put it in his hand so I wouldn't get in trouble for it.

14. There are two kinds of chickens, the kind that are nuggets that mom makes me eat before I can have more juice, and the kind that my Nanny has at her house.

15. My mama sings really bad sometimes, and makes me wear shoes when I go outside, and ignores me when I throw a really good tantrum, and "nabbn. Hhjhjg,Benz>?" (which is a message straight from the toddler himself!)... But despite all that, I love my mama!

Okay, so maybe that last one is just wishful thinking (: