Day 123: Back to College

Most the time I try to make my blog posts somewhat witty. I like to keep the attention of the reader, promote cohesiveness of the passage, etc. But not today, today I'm just going to write. 

Holy crap, I'm nervous about college.

Tomorrow morning is my first class of my first course of my first semester back to school in four years. Four years ago, I was eighteen. I was living my life virtually carefree. I had a four-year scholarship. My career paid for. I was surrounded by friends going to the same college. I had scored 29 on my ACT and a 3.86 high school GPA fresh in my head to fall back on. The biggest thing I worried about on the night before my first day of college was what I was going to wear and making sure I woke up in time to make it to class the next morning. (Let's be honest, getting up early is still going to be the hardest part..)

I have this lump in my throat tonight. I worry about my academic brain not being "as good as it once was." I worry about my boys being sick and me having to miss class. I worry (after reading his syllabus) that my english professor is going to fail me IF I have to miss class. I worry that I won't have time to complete my assignments to the caliber that I wish to. I worry I will spread myself too thin and other aspects of my life will suffer.

I worry that I will fail.

Not fail my classes, just fail. I tend to be my toughest critic. If I give up on something, it's a month long grieving process for me. I gave up my post-secondary education once already. This time, my critical self has already told my ambitious self that this is our last chance. I can't give up this time. Having a college education is important to me. I have to do this. I'm bad about looking at things from very immediate point of view. I see what I want in the now, ignore the plans I have made for the future for a moment, and act accordingly. 

I'm finishing this post with some advice for us all.

Jack complained earlier this evening of an earache, so when he woke up again about an hour ago I laid with him for a little while until he was almost asleep. I told him that it was time for me to go back to my bed because I was nervous about school tomorrow so I needed to sleep. Through his dreary, little eyes, he said "you be brave at school mama." 

I kissed my sweet boy's forehead and came downstairs to write this blog before I hit the hay. 

Now to pack my bag, the boys bag, and get that sweet boy's apple juice and peanut butter sandwich ready for the morning because I guarantee he will not be so encouraging at 7 o'clock tomorrow morning

(:

Day 119: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Lots of exciting stuff going around around these parts. 

First and foremost, we are almost halfway done with this "vacation" and these two boys can not wait to have their soldier back where he belongs!

And this mama too 

Secondly... see that girl.. yes, that blonde on in the photo above. She is heading back to college next week as a full-time student. Starting bright and early Monday morning with an English class.

I feel like a little kid all over again. Nicole (my sister, according to every cashier in the world) even said she's going to take "first day of school pictures" of me. But let's be honest, my class is at 8:30am. The boys are going to my friend Jessica's 20 minutes away, and then I still have to drive back to post, since my class is at the education center here. In short, this all means I will be getting up at SIX THIRTY AM. So, if you have known me longer than... about 10 minutes, you should know this is going to be the hardest part for me. Friends, if you love me, text me Monday. Annoy me until I can't possibly sleep in late. Thank you in advance (:

Also this week, I credit my BFF Nicole for getting the curious cat to take the bait. 

Cat = Me. 

Bait =

Most of my mama friends should know what that is. For that don't, this is a cloth diaper. Not the ugly, yucky kind that our grandmas used to safety pin together. This is the new and improved stylish, adorable, slightly less yucky kind. Why now, when Jonah is already 18 months old? Because I've always wanted to try it. Because it helps the environment. Because it will save money for our family. To me it's worth a try, at least. 

If you have never looked into cloth diapering, I highly suggest that you at least read a few blogs at least.
The Cloth Diaper Report is one that I recommend to explain the different kinds of diapers and how they work.
Jonah wasn't too fond of the first diaper, but by the second time around he didn't mind.

I'm not sure why this photo is so yellow but isn't he adorable in his fluff? (: Hiiiiiiii Corbin (in the background)

I'm also taking this time to shamelessly plug my crochet business (:

The Yellow Palm Tree Etsy Store
The Yellow Palm Tree Facebook Page

Crocheting feeds my creative needs, lets me create things for adorable babies (and adults), and keeps me busy while my husband is away. Win, win, win, right?
Check it out, if you have time. I love to take on custom orders as well, gives me the chance to come up with new designs and get new ideas.

Have a happy weekend

Day 116: Netflix is a Military Spouse's Best Friend

If you are a military spouse I don't even have to tell you this. Most people use Netflix to watch movies, we use it to watch 230982304 episodes of every TV series that we find remotely interesting. So here's my list of "shows worth watching that will kill some lonely nights for you" for all my milspouse friends.

1. Scrubs - I actually watched this one with my husband. Think "Grey's Anatomy" but less serious and more funny. I find it funny but some people don't. JD, the main character, has inner monologues which are often the cause of me sounding like a crazy person laughing really hard.

2. One Tree Hill - I just finished this series. It kept my attention mostly the whole series through. Plenty of "love stories" to feed your need for affection. Lots of twists and turns along the way. And there's LOTS of episodes. Should kill at least a month or so. It's about a group of friends in high school. Brothers Nathan and Lucas Scott are the main focus, their dad shunned one of them and stayed and lived "the good life" with the other. Makes for good tv. Also I must note that this series has AMAZING music. 

3. Sons of Anarchy - Hello eye candy! Charlie Hunnam plays the main character, Jax Teller. Jax is a single dad to an adorable new baby named Abel and the vice-president of a motorcycle club who run guns and try to "protect" their small town. Only it can't ever be that easy right? I loved this series and I can't wait for the Season 5 to be added.

4. Vampire Diaries - I started watching this one at the suggestion of a friend. When I first started watching I thought "Oh these silly producers are trying to make Twilight into a TV show." But after a few episodes, I started really getting into it. Brothers, Stefan and Damon Salvatore are both vampires vying for teenager Elena Gilbert. (Don't forget the teenage witches and werewolves too).

5. Gossip Girl - A look into the world of the rich and privileged teenagers of the upper-east side of Manhattan. Blake Lively and Leighton Meester play the best friends whom the show focuses on. In the show, "Gossip Girl" is an online blog that posts information, locations, and the latest on the characters' social lives. I borrowed the first few seasons from a friend during Jeff's last deployment and I have been following it ever since. The final season just ended about a month ago, so they ALL should be available on Netflix soon.

And now I'm sleepy. So there's five, have fun.

(:

Day 115: She Did Not Need Much

Exactly true.

I don't need much.

Today I had breakfast with my friends. Stephen makes awesome french toast, and he's even learned the perfect amount of crispy that I like my bacon. Yessssss.

After breakfast my BFF Nicole and I went for our first run of 2013. It was a rough one. We did about a mile and a half. I'm hoping to stay on track with the "Ease Into 5K" program and be ready to run my 5K in a few months. 

Then I TOOK A NAP. Yes, you read that right. It was only about an hour. But after not a lot of sleep last night it felt so good. 

Followed by a laughter-filled dinner at home with my boys, and bedtime stories, and big hugs and kisses. 

(:

I don't need much. 

More days like these... "and to love and be loved in return."

Day 113: Early Mornings

My babies were still sleeping when I opened my eyes for the first time this morning, it was 5:43am. I instantly looked up from my bed over to the sink and vanity that's in my room. For a split second, I saw my husband. Shaving. Getting ready for his day. He looked at me and said "I love you, go back to sleep, baby."And so I did. 

I just miss him. 

Day 109: Stuck in the Middle

I guess I'm just a little discouraged lately. It feels like Jeff has been gone for a loooooong time and in reality we aren't even halfway done yet. Yes, nine months sounds a lot shorter than a year, and it is. But MAN can we speed this up a bit? I am tired of cheering myself on. 

The boys and I (Luna too) just returned home from being in Ohio for Christmas. We are so lucky to have the family and friends that we do. They are always so supportive. They try really hard to make sure that we are as happy and helped as possible. Still... I ended up running home after 5 days. It was too much. I do well here, at home, surrounded by normalcy. Being back in Ohio is almost like a flood. A whole bunch of emotion, good and bad, hits me like a big wall of water. There's nothing I can do about it except wait it out... or run. I chose to run this time. Maybe next time, I'll be braver.

None the less, the boys had a wonderful Christmas surrounded by our loved ones. We even got to Skype with daddy that evening, which always makes for better days.

Other than that I have been crocheting (a lot). I've been fortunate enough to have had lots of orders to fill in December. My most popular item was this guy:

The Rainbow Owl Hat

I decided to close my shop for 2 weeks to have a break for the holidays. But I'll be back open January 4th (hopefully with some new listings as well). 

I've also been preparing to return to college. I'm so very nervous, but the school I am going to operates on 8-week terms. Which translates to me only having to take 2 classes each term to be considered a full-time student. Good news for me. I am starting simple, one math class and one english class. Starting January 14th I will be a spouse of a deployed husband, with two boys under the age of 3, running a crochet "business", and a full time student.

Ay yi yi. 

Who needs sleep right?

Day 89: Treading Water

You know that part of your life that just always seems to be out of whack. Yeah, I kind of feel like all of the parts of my life are like that right now. 

I understand that it's normal for a wife to feel frazzled during her husband's deployment. But it's too the point that sometimes I just laugh at myself because of all the things I forget. 

Plates I have currently spinning:

1. Keeping my babies happy. Always number one on my list.

2. Being a loving, connected wife to my far away husband (i.e. mailing care packages, reserving time to chat with him, writing letters).

3. Keeping up with my ever-messier house. These boys could make a mess in a completely empty room, I swear.

4. Running my "business". I say it like that because I really it's just a hobby that other people just happened to take interest in. Link to my crochet shop, the yellow palm tree.

5. Making sure I (and the boys) remember and make it to all doctor's appointments. I'm failing at that. I missed one last week and I just found out that Jonah is late for one of his immunizations. Great!

6. Eat, sleep, shower. I suppose I should have this on the list. Yes folks, my memory is getting that bad. 

7. Insert random annoying tasks that need done here... Oil change for Talulah, finish Christmas shopping, washing machine cleaned, grocery shopping, call my high school for transcripts, bang head against wall become wonderwoman.

8. (Place saved for the things I am inevitably forgetting).

Our day wasn't too bad. Last night Jonah woke up screaming for daddy, followed by Jack waking up asking for water. So we didn't roll out of bed this morning until around 10am! That's crazy late in this house. It was nice to sleep in but when I woke up I definitely had that small heart attack every mother gets when they wake up before their kids and don't hear them in their rooms. 

This afternoon, two of my best girlfriends and I decided to have a "craft night." I worked out crochet orders, Nicole worked on a Christmas present, and Jackie made super cute hats and baby pants from old sweaters. So adorable. It was so good to sit and talk with Jackie and Nicole. And the boys always have a blast playing in her playroom with all the toys they don't have at our house. 

I didn't get to talk to my husband much today. Busy days make me miss him. Well, all days make me miss him. But days where we can't talk much always make me more sad. Hopefully tomorrow I will wake up to a "good morning" message from a special someone (: